Friends of The Brain Redbrain Shopping Other Props AtomicBombDesigns For our logo. If you need logo's or site design, this is the place to get it! Webmasters Redbrain: A question, wrapped in a riddle, wrapped in bacon, submerged in a jar of ether, placed on a shelf, in a cabin, in the woods. Viciously expelled from the womb some years ago, Elmo has studied various arts of regression in an attempt to re-enter that happy land. His quest for a 50-foot woman frustrated, he now lives in a sensory deprivation tank, hoping to re-experience that original moment of coital fruition (the little bang) and snap out of this troublesome existence. During the enthusiasm of the Reagan Revolution, Elmo attempted to found a school of dadaist psychoanalysis which came to precisely nothing. With this success under his belt (and little else, it is rumoured), he began a series of thought experiments designed to bring about spontaneous evolution into a creature of light. The conclusions are to be published in installments on this website. An unsuccessful campaign in 1992 to be elected Emperor of North America resulted in his immense popularity amongst speakers of Esperanto. Or so he imagines. Though a misanthrope, or "hater of people", he assures us that it is himself he hates the most, and his vitriolic address to the public is therefore a pathetic facsilimie of love. He is a good boy, his mother is proud, and he is available for romantic dinners, moonlit strolls on the beach and hard-core ass-fucking. u Well if it wasn’t for that minor military stint in hostile and dangerous areas, I would have a clean record. But hostile areas are where they send assholes like me that don’t look cookie cutter. If I never went I probably wouldn’t be as fucked up in the head as I am but I had seen some ridiculous stuff over there. Guys fucking things that I don’t know if were alive or dead. I mean these were fucking kids, we were all kids, we didn’t know how to act. Man I thought I had really seen it all until I spent 16 months in a POW camp, and became like the entertainment. See how much sucking with I could take, that was my captors MO, and I took it all. I fought back but with some serious mind shit, fucked up there sense of what humans can do when tested. So I walked, now I stand up straight, and think life is the cat’s ass, I just hadn’t seen my fucked up clown face in a while. So the mirror told me everything I needed to hear. How long it had been since I tasted the salty air of a sea port. I made my way west where I ran into probably the most fucked up idea known to man, my good pal, Johnny Happy. Now see John ain’t all there, he’s got some serious crossed wire shit goin on under the hood. His name should be Retardo Montelblan, but it’s Johnny Happy. Now Fuck All'Yall Lumpy The Clown Randy spills his beans. An embarrassment, a red-death masque of shame, he is a sentimental phoenix-fledgeling who gets busted for absent-mindedly singing Elton John tunes at the urinal -- and by men who flush thrice in a single crap. He looses the booze gryphon on his liver daily to appear amusing -- even charming -- instead of pathetic. Some fall for it, but his entrails never regenerate. Home-educated by his mother in self-help maxims, then cross-trained in the catechism and riverside baptist revivals, he was relentlessly threshed in adolescence by hooligans who ligated him for his name and his sense of grace, confusing him sexually and ethically. Excommunicated from the Anglican church at twenty, he is hard and a dangerous person to know; he inspires exhaustion, self-esteem, nausea, and the nurturing instinct. Nothing is scarier than a wounded baby who appears a normal -- even kindly -- young man. History and present whereabouts unknown. Unkle Slappy Nuttz is the makings of what history fears. The name alone gives off a rather retarded view of this man/myth/little debbi snack cake eating legend. if one tries to sit back and think about all evil forces from the creation of man to global warming they all come back to Unkle Slappy Nuttz. Altho Unkle could snap your neck like a twig through his computer he doesnt want to. instead he will tell you dumb ass stories about time travel and beastality and maybe interlink them like fine china in the idaho sun. Has he every done what he will/has spoke about? Who knows, in all honesty hes a son of a bitch and i pray he dies from herpes.