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Friends of
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the story of love 5/29/01
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"i love him, but it's
just such a drag every time i see him these days,"
she says.
the jilted lover huffs, pacing, in another room,
one hand on head, other a fist, "i've only ever
loved her."
so goes
the story of love. impending ending a
tiger at the edge of the fire, just waiting, but
sure. you love, then one hates and the other
obsesses. then everybody destroys everybody
with the best of intentions. excuse me, but
that's my severed head you're holding. psychocircumcision.
psychocircumschism, even. a circle cut out
of you, and you don't know if you're the inside
or the outside. an inchworm, split.
inchwormness in ones and twos, or wholes
and halves. one falls into two. sometimes
bounces back. boing. what are you, you
ask in shock and horror of yourself, involuntarily.
voices come to you. they accuse you.
they know you. you are these voices, which
are always already spoken. how not to listen
to yourself. how absurd to be a being which
does not listen to itself. there are nervous
tics on the serene grinning idiot face you wear.
tremulous fissures. volcanic
eruptions of nonsense, logomachy of ambivalence.
belief, disbelief, never indifference. you're
in love with or hate every thing in the universe,
seen and unseen, there and not, and always both.
it's a precariously balanced equation. and
you always seem to come out on the losing end.
you want. you want. you
want . what? there is a something
out there, in relation to which your words are not.
therefore shut thy fucking mouth. oh but i
percieve so many uttering tongues, on the walls
of your mind, cacophony of meaning. it’s
caca, ya phoney. you're a phoney if you try
to keep them out and you're a phoney if you pretend
to understand them. you're just fucking phoney,
so shut the fuck up. phoney dork.
but you’ve only ever loved, you cry.
why does your smile always invite a slap.
you are kind, you are tender, you are a creature
of light and
love. but you eat your progeny.
“i love you so goddamn motherfucking much,
i wanna make you so happy you fucking explode.
the heat of my passion will inflame you like a dry
leaf in a kiln. i wanna shower you with flowers,
12 tons of flowers. blow you a kiss at 120
m.p.h. hug you so hard you split in half.
eat
your pussy, completely, with a steak knife.
make a smile stretch across your face until the
top of your head falls off like a soft boiled egg
cracked open.” oh, you’re a lover
alright. love love love. happy motherfucking
love. hooray.
______________________________________
NEXT TUESDAY: elmo fuddpucker, urban pirate
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