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Friends of
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Happby 1st Birthday
Redbrain.com -4/1/02
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Hello
Kiddies-
So you little vagina loving sacks of suck. Say it
with me, ONE YEAR OLD! Say it loud, say it proud,
ONE YEAR OLD! REDBRAIN IS A HOT LITTLE ONE
YEAR OLD! With us you have been the ultimate witness
to a year in the life of many things. Many things
both great and tragic, and may things both amazingly
funny and horribly stupid. If you follow my column
you know where the stupid comes from. If you don’t
follow my column FUCK YOU YOU DAMN DIRTY ASSHOLE.
YOu have witnessed, a start up dot com, a revolution
in thinking, a break down in communication and flexibility,
and creativity being allowed more freedom to grow,
live, expire and rot. Globally you witnessed the
world being brought to it’s knees, morally, financially,
and religiously. WE have seen so much in the first
365 days of operation. We have seen almost everything,
well almost everything except a positive cash flow.
Without you creatures that surf us, we would be
less than we are, but since it would take a lap
dance from Steven Hawking to understand what less
than zero means, I will let you know that it is
below nothing and not just a Robert Downey coke
flick. I have written 61 stories, I have poured
my heart out a fraction over once a week for you
fellow brainiacs to get as much as you can get through
your resin soaked cerebral computation units. I
am not smart, I am not pretty but for some reason
I have been chosen to put this out there, for all
of you to read or ignore. I just wanted to tell
you that in light of making zero dollars that after
one year there have been some really great things
that have happened. I will try and explain them
to you now. One. Redbrain FINALLY launches
to huge numbers, expectations high, we wait excitedly.
Two. Unkle Slappy Nuttz disappears TWICE. For extended
lengths of time Slappy can not be found. He just
stops communicating like he is John Rambo in the
forest or something. Three. My offline cyber romance
derails with Jizzabel, I think she wanted me, I
think she wanted all that a clown could offer including
a multi colored cum bath. BANG she falls off the
earth, too bad she disappeared too, huh? I had an
all day sucker she could share with Rita. Oh well,
I must have scared her, I guess showing up unannounced
in her driveway is no place for a clown at 3 am.
Four. The Jimmy Redmond saga, an online fan schizophrenically
turned cyber stalker freak who eventually started
proceedings threatening to sue us! Sue us for what,
the worst content most frequently not updated daily
site on the web. He kept stating slander and
defamation of character and other bizarre shit and
then it got weird he was monitoring the boards and
everything. It got weird for a couple weeks and
then he too just disappeared, I still think he was
USN but who knows, I could be dead wrong. Slappy
was probably Jizzabel too, YUCK! I told him too
much. I got too hot with him, he loved it. Five.
I really liked when that hot little porn star
Alex from houseoftransgression.com wrote our website
name across her tits in lipstick, she could have
wrote things about my mother and I wouldn’t have
cared. I fell in love in love with her friend, I
never knew her name but she was so hot. She never
fucking called, and I KNOW SHE WASN’T SLAPPY CAUSE
SLAPPY AIN’T HOT. Six. 9/11 came and went,
we are dumbed down to not remember it. We even saw
Hollywood and Professional Sports question
how fucking insignificant they both are...but low
and behold, the ambitious, arrogant animal rears
it’s decomposing cranium for all to see. Seven.
Life has not been the same since we started Redbrain,
whether we are directly or indirectly responsible
for any of life’s little quandaries is not the issue,
it is that things change so get used to it. Life
will never be what it is right now and that is current.
Life will never be the same in your memories or
in your future. You can’t change the past and you
can’t forge the future, you are only totally in
control of right now. You can only breathe in those
oxygen molecules once and exhale them, after that
you just changed the world on a molecular level,
you have altered the future for all mankind. You
can make a difference, even if it is just one simple
lost soul at a time, Do not let them win, VOTE,
stand up, don’t be a global coward. Look to others
to learn and teach what you can to idiots, step
out from behind the computer to see who is trying
to ruin your world. Own your piece of the globe
for the entire time you are alive. Common sense
will eventually prevail. People will eventually
listen to you. Take care my people. HAve a fucking
delicious anniversary. If you get a chance
to celebrate our anniversary by fucking your sig
other, please whisper in their ear that Lumpy
wishes he could be there to fuck them too.
God
Bless and
TCB LTC.......
Now Fuck All Y'All
Lumpy The
Clown
READ MY OLD ARTICLES
in SPENT LOADS
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