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Friends of
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Payback--6/1/01
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Hello Kiddies-
I see you are all in your rows, nice and neat today,
you love to be told what to do don’t you. It’s way
fucking easier than that free thinking bullshit.
Well keep it up and we’ll all be eating rice out
of chinese guys asses. Keep up that willingness
to live with crap being on the menu everyday. Instead
of telling the cook you don’t eat shit, you say
“another helping please.” Don’t
be a fucking coward, no one likes god damned cowards...
well except for me, I got a soft spot for them.
John is a coward, he broke something again today
and was too afraid to tell me, especially cause
it was expensive. You have to understand, my freak
out level is pretty much at ten no matter what happens
let alone something gets broke. I mean if you are
gonna lose your cool, why lose it half way. Lose
it big time. At least if it’s warranted you don’t
have to rise to the occasion. So anyway, John leaves
me a hand drawn diagram of what he broke of mine
and then a sad face with some tears next to his
signature. Well “fuck this” I thought, if anyone
else would have broken it, they would be picking
up their teeth from one end of the curb to the next,
and if it was real important to me they would have
had to sweep up their teeth in a dust form and pack
it back into their bloody gums after I scraped those
pearly whites against the curb from a slow moving
Oldsmobile. I am
so tired, my breath gets heavy, I even catch myself
forgetting to breathe. The weight of my full lungs
let’s my vicoden ridden brain know to try and breathe.
So back to pud man. John fucked up my stuff, he
was rewinding my tape of Titanic and it went to
far and snapped. Just like my fucking copy of Midnight
Cowboy, which after John broke I made him drink
toilet water before I let him go buy me a new copy.
Now
this was no regular tape of Titanic, this was a
special copy of Titanic. It was the directors
cut, priceless, but leave it to fuck nuts. So back
to me. NO job still, can you believe it. I swore
I would have turned to hunting by now. I wonder
what that would be like if I could hunt and trap
my own food. I mean I know it’s real easy to go
to McDonald’s and get some food, but to actually
shoot a homemade bow and arrow through a rabbit.
Wow what a thrill. I
would most like to hunt at a magic show, there
is always a rabbit or a quail flying real close
to the stage and I would pull that string back and
let that arrow fly through the heart of the rabbit.
I hope it doesn’t stick that creepy magician. I
also hope I don’t
get pulled over by the New York State Police and
sodomized with a plunger. I just don’t want that
shit. I mean what I let Rita do with her tounge
or her foot is my business, but I don’t want to
be some performing monkey for the New York State
Patrol. Forget it. So I don’t quite no how to make
John pay me back for that very boneheaded move,
but I will keep thinking. I have never had him chew
on electric wires before, and I have never stretched
a clothesline high over the driveway and told him
to walk this tightrope. It would be interesting
to see how he does, and I’ll have Malty keep running
the car in and out of the driveway. Fuck him, if
he falls, he should have learned to not touch my
tapes. That is for sure, just think if he would
have ruined one of my Traci Lords.......WOW those
would be really irreplaceable. That cock wrapper,
I am gonna hide in the bushes til he gets home and
then I am going to scare the fuck out of him. Never
leave your stuff in other peoples hands they will
only fuck it up.
Now Fuck All’Yall
Lumpy The Clown
CHECK BACK FOR MORE LUMPY ON Mon, Wed and Fri and
READ MY OLD ARTICLES
in SPENT LOADS
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