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Friends of
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"The World
is an Illusion"--Doug Henning
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Hello
Kiddies-
Eeenie, Meanie, Miney Mo, catch a Tiger by the toe...who
the fuck would ever teach a kid to catch a tiger
by his toe. That's a good way to get your head bit
off, unless you like that kind of thing. Or unless
you are one of those queer mother fuckers, Zigfried
and Roy. That's great too, those names...this one
guy is real mysterious, his name is Zigfried, he
is the one with all the personality, all the charm
and the REAL German accent. Zigfried
is the one who can tame a tiger into his cage without
a chair or a whip. But who is the other guy,
the less feminine of the two? Who is the guy with
the dumpy posture and crooked teeth? Oh that's just
Roy. Roy? ROY?? I knew guys named Roy that worked
on ice machines, I even knew this 7 foot tall guy
that picked through dumpsters named Roy. But not
a queer, German lion tamer. Roy is no name for a
main player like that. Roy is the name of a hillbilly
that sleeps with his grandfather because he thinks
that's normal. No one ever told him different. No
one ever stopped Roy and said, "Don't let your Grandfather
stick his dick in there. THAT'S NOT NORMAL! 'That
would make no sense to Roy, that along with simple
learnin'. "See we tried to teach Roy to read, but
words kept on messin him up, and shit we tried to
teach Roy to count but there was always that dang
number three." They come out of the fucking
hills knowing ZERO, and try to teach a hillbilly
to do something new,it's
like trying to teach Muhammad Ali to do the moon
walk , it ain't gonna fucking happen. The wires
have been cut. That is what scares me so much is
the random selection, some are born with stupid.
Some get stupid because the dentist used Mercury
to fill their teeth. And some, even smart ones,
just turn out the lamp one day and say, "Hey, I
am checking out of my brain, I am gonna pretend
that I don't know you, me or where a toilet is."
Then they go, never to return, and you wind up spoon
feeding them applesauce for the next six years cause
their heart is beating like a swiss watch. Sitting
there, that's all you are good for, "Hell, I remember
when they were fun, they talked a lot and I could
tell them shit, now I just talk to myself."
you say those things as you clean the shit in the
bathroom walls and adjust the bed straps so this
lunatic that occupies grandfathers body can't get
away. Well is it from the fillings, the
aluminum in the deodorant, the microwave radiation,
high tension power lines, or
is it cause Grandpa took advantage of us and
it's just as soon easier to forget than to fight
to get through life anymore. NO one will answer,
especially not Roy....No Roy is too busy crushing
beer cans on his forehead in his trailer. Well.
not every Roy. Some Roy's are even dumber, some
Roy's are sticking their head into the mouth of
a hungry Lion and opening their ass to a German
cock rocket pilot. Who knows, I just am glad my
name is Lumpy.
Now Fuck All Y'All
Lumpy The Clown
READ MY OLD ARTICLES
in SPENT LOADS
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