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Friends of
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| Ill
Confesio, ix: When horrible assholes meet, and fall
in love 5/31/01 |
by
randy stainer
[sweet little birdies chirping in the background]...
"So maybe you should Steve
McQueen your pain. Walk around method acting
yourself as a super
cool, strong person who's enduring fucking racking,
horrible pain. Bombs falling everywhere, bullets,
hatchets, every kind of actual suffering you can
imagine, from human to ants being crushed. That
way you can be that guy in romantic tradedy sitting
on the rocks, staring at the sea, wind blowing in
your face. Gesturing extravagantly. It helped last
time I got really fucked. I'm doing it right now,
in fact. Be like REALLY into the part."
"Scream at the sea, 'I am in hell,' maybe?"
"The key is the method acting. Not pretending to
be someone strong, being tortured; but
being that person, but it's you. You're completely
blowing this shit off"
"No. I'm writing it down."
"Yeah. Run into the ocean, wearing a suit -- you're
at work, right? wearing a suit?"
"Yes,
but no suit"
"...and swim as far as you can, then when you wash
up on shore you run home in your suit, soaked, and
sit in a chair and just stare at something, breathing
really fucking hard cause you're exhausted. People
will look and say, wow, that guy looks cool, like
he's been forcefed shit submarines by satan, and
he's still looking like steel goodwill. Or walk
into a restaurant naked, lay on a table and bemoan
your fate. Get arrested. Or burn a print of that
Klimt portrait that she resembles, and throw a lock
of hair in there and maybe some wax and then fuck
the smoldering ball with some astroglide. Sometimes
I think this woman I fucked over a long time ago
has a voodoo doll of me."
"I think that's it. Katie. That's fucking it. Katie.
Dude, I'm getting voodooed BALLS-ASS right now!
It feels better to know that I deserve this, and
blaming someone completely in their rights to destroy
me. And besides, there's the element of distance.
That's why the constant feeling of having been kicked
in the nuts. I'm getting voodooed..."
"Maybe you should walk around acting like you got
kicked in the nuts. Cause you really didn't get
kicked in the nuts, and really getting kicked in
the nuts is not like funny at all. But not kicked
in the nuts and acting like you got kicked in the
nuts can be really fucking funny."
"Heard she's dating some smug self-satisfied
fuck."
"Stop picking at your scabs. It's fucking making
me sick."
"It's okay. That shit's just what's in the background
of this level of hell. Like you'd have to look real
hard, and you'd only see them for a second.. Two
assholes in bliss together is something you'd see
in my hell. See, it's okay cuz I got a mystical
force of nature working against me. I'm voodooed.
Deja vudooed, even. It's not something I can control,
so it releases me of moral obligation. Now I can
Steve McQueen it. Thanks, man."
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