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love 8/8/01

love, by randy stainer
dear friends:
for some reason people feel compelled to tell me about it when they see my ex-grilfiend. to you caring and beloved souls, let me just say: unless it is a funny story about a particular misfortune -- say, a disfiguring accident or the loss of a job -- of hers, i don't wanna know about it. i saw enough of, and i know enough about, and i wasted enough time on that cock-eyed, arthritic, envious, dense, miserable, backbiting, thoughtless, spiteful, scrawny, shallow, bigoted, hypocritical dope for a lifetime. i know she's still alive; i'm certain a big, thorny stick is still firmly jammed up her wazoo; and i simply don't care.

having seen something of the worst things in human nature -- and particularly, what is wrong with this great country of ours -- is bad enough without being reminded of the desperately flailing, futile hag which for me has become the emblem of these (and all iniquity and ignorance). and i know that i don't give a rat's ass what she is doing, nor do i waste a moment's thought -- not even on the crapper, whimsically musing -- on the movements of her idiot friends and ass-hole-ociates. nor will i ever do so again. so please, spare me the details should you see her. i got scoped shamelessly by portia de rossi this weekend. there are way better things, and women, for me to do. thank you, friends, and see you soon... love, randy