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Friends of
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Strip twister means
7 days of work--5/16/01
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This story is rated
®...so send me a
Gift...or just punch me
Here
Unkle Slappy Nuttz life story (dont you wish
your life didnt suck) 39 years
old
Strip twister means 7 days of work
This story idea was sent by TED W.
and FUCK THAT BITCH AT BLOCKBUSTER....how
was that? haha
So here i come from the depths of hell and the tips
of mountains and yet still..i cant have one single
day go my way...
are you gay? wanna be? know someone in denial? well
then my gay little friends take
a peek here
..remember only you can prevent a forest fire...
Well me an my buddy god was kickin it one space
evening....just kinda floating around..see back
then he wasnt the big man he is now..he use to be
kinda skinny..and i always had to protect his ass
from gettin beat down..i told em never fuck with
that
PCP...in one ear out the other..
So one day we were out walkin our space rocks an
shit drinkin 40oz of Zima smokin out on space grass
gettin WASTED..you know how WE do it..
well Zeuswas the head honchoso at the time he always
got laid..an he treated me pretty cool but he hated
my boy..see God wasnt God backin those days..his
name was...Gloria
Jean ..cause back in those days he use to spike
his coffee with herion..but he'd be SOOO WASTED
that his light weight ass would pass out..well someone
else would see an open cup of coffee and think..hmm..so
they would gulp it down..then their wasted..the
next day THEY get pissed..even tho it was THEIR
fault..soTHEY end up kickin Gods coffee makin ass..an
then I hafta get butt nekked an fuck em up.....it
was a whole rotation thing...you understand??
ok back to the story....well there were many gods...Pluto,Daffy,
Bill, Rolling thunder, Zeus, Webster, and weird
ass Gilbert Grape look alike who always wanted us
to pick a number between 0 and 1..instead of guessing
the number he would say..ok now tell me your number..so
we would say 1...then he would smile at us an say..yeah
i knew it..and walk away...WTF JUST HAPPENED???..he
was insane we figured an it was not a secret to
the entire community...
Well i just woke up an heard that God got his bitch
ass beat down by that Gilbert grape bitch..now i
knew God was a punk but he musta smoked tooooo much
of something to get beat up by that purple punk..
So i set out to find him and everyone i asked laughed
at me..well i found him in a black hole given head
to
Nancy Reagan.
I dragged his broke cummy mouth ass to detox..it
was for the best..
Detox was more for lazy midgets..i dunno..i turned
him in and as i left pulled an Erin brockovich..no
not showin my man boobs..i sketched a pic of that
building..
Well he called me a week later an said he was straight
an please come pick him up..he sounded kinda worried..
U.S.N.-whats wrong?
God-well i took on a new game..an it seems as tho
im damn good at it
U.S.N.- so whats the problem?
GOD- well if i continue to win..im gonna get raped
by 6 angry midget guards..
U.S.N.- im on my way...
So i drove my space rocket thingie to his detox
center an scooped em up..he sat down kinda weird..i
knew he got butt punched..hehe..
well i took him back to the city of night..and we
hooked up with a few boys from the old days..
Zeus must not of liked what he heard
Zeus-sooo Gloria..i see your back from detox
god-yup..clean an ready to kick your ass
zeus-i smell a pussy challenge....
god-take your fingers away from your noise an lets
rumble bitch boy..
zeus-so do you wanna fight normal..or with weapons
god-how about we fight with our wits
god pulled out a mat with circle colors and a flick&
spin device..
god-the games nekked twister..first man to fuck
up..has to build the winner a home of his choice..but
the catch is..we dont play...we let our close best
friends play for us...
well as you can tell i was stuck playing against
that Gilbert grape lookin bastard...Zeus didnt even
like him but the guy always gave off that "i wanna
chew off your arm vibe"
right arm blue...left arm red....one ball yellow....the
game was fuckin fun as hell
after several hours i was lookin like pretty ruff....tryin
to stand on all fours but yet dip close enuff to
let my balls stay on the board..well grapie was
above me standing...hands in the air..balls hoovering
above my back
one finger yellow..he couldnt reach around me enuff...an
i felt it..his nutts droppin on my back...
GOD-you lose..it didnt say nutt sack on Unkles back..
Zeus-GOD DAMNIT
god-hey watch your mouth!
mean while..i jumped up an beat the life outta grapie...tore
off his nutts an ate em..it was the last thing he
say before he died..
Zeus gathered all his bitchboys and they asked Gloriawhat
he wanted..
god-Unkle..what sounds good to you?
me-well id like a place that i dont fly around an
shit
god-deal
MAKE ME AN EARTH...WITH MALT BEVERAGES AND PLENTY
OF NIPPLES...
i aint seen god since then..hope he still knows
me..but who cares..he built this bitch for me anyways..
Have an intresting idea for a story? Wanna see your
name on my story like Ted W.?
if so send em to me at UnkleSlappyNuttz@redbrain.com
coming soon...i dunno
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