PLACES TO PUT YOUR BOOGERS |
11. Under Desk
- If
at work or school drag finger under hard surface until transfer is
complete, be careful of retracking through already boogered areas,
they can become dry and flake off onto your pants. |
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10. Beddy Bye Boogie
-If sleeping or bothered
during rest by a truffle finder full of boogs, place finger into
affected area and pull , wiping under the metal frame rail of your
bed. Again watch for heavily populated areas and vacuum
frequently. |
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9. Snot Rocket (aka the farmer toot)
-
Theres always a green goblin that gets lodged and the
only way to bring her home is with some industrial strentgh pressure.
Hold one nostril and blow out the other this will free willy 9 out
of 10 times. Make sure you are outside upon launch. |
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8. Snot in my Car
- Not for the first time drivers, while driving roll the booger in question into a ball between fingers, hold hand out window and continue rolling until booger flies away (WARNING: CHECK FINGERS, SLIMY SNOT OFTEN LATCHES ON TO ANOTHER FINGER DURING THE WINDOW EXIT) |
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7. Oblivion Flick (or Lick, Pick, Roll and Flick)
- When you get an average snot out and are looking for a
place to put it, often times this is a guilt free way to dispose of
it. Rubbing the booger between fingers will cause it to ball up,
then you just launch, flicking it into oblivion (may want to limit
this technique in your own home) |
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6. The Angry Arm -
This is only necessary for very juicy boogers.
when you have pulled the taffy like booger out of your snout you
will need to shake your arm wildly until the booger releases.
(WARNING: CAN CAUSE SHOULDER PAIN) |
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5. Booger Bistro
-
NOT FOR THE MEEK: do not try this if you have a weak stomach. Step
one - dislodge subject. Step two - Eat your booger! |
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4. Wildlife Rescue
-
This is for those of you lucky enough to have house pets. As the
animal comes by simply wipe the booger into the coat or dander of
the animal, and let nature take it's course. |
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3. The Wall of Shame
-
Probably the rudest form of expression but can come in handy. The
act of leaving a booger on a wall in plain sight is garish. Putting
that booger on the wall to make a political statement is another
matter all together. Poor restaurant service and high school
competitions are the usual suspects. But hospitals, train stations,
and courthouses are also sighting hotspots.
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2. Rainforest Boogers
- Taking your boogers and turning them into an
ecological subcomponent is a wonderful feeling . As millions of
acres of rainforest are destroyed annually, wiping boogs into
houseplants will create a nutrient rich environment for these plants
to blossom and grow. Feel like you are doing you part to help out
the environment. |
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1. That Snot Funny
-
Blowing them into a tissue is clearly the most common way to dispose
of snots, but leaving that tissue where someone else will touch it,
can cause disgust, panic and even pass along some germs if you are
still contagious. Now that is the kind of stuff that you can sit
back, relax and watch unfold. |
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